Movie Releases, 8/18

Snakes on a Plane. Probably the most artificially hyped movie ever finally arrives, complete with alterations influenced by the "fans" who haven't even seen the movie. Hence, we have Samuel L. Jackson's already famous line, "I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes, on this motherfuckin' plane!" And band Cobra Starship, who will have a perfect name should a G.I. Joe movie be in the works, and their song "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)." There are many things I doubt about this movie.

First, I don't think it's going to be as big as many might think--the internet always inflates a fan base and therefore it's overall appeal. So I wouldn't be surprised with a nice $27 million (or less) opening, and then a steady drop afterwards to finish with $50-60 million--which may be all New Line Cinema is asking for. Second, the movie doesn't appear to have been made with camp in mind--we were going to have another Anaconda (on a plane) before the changes, which elevated this to an R-rating with more sex, violence, and language. I will always argue that you cannot consciously make camp, that camp classics like Showgirls were made with all seriousness in mind and unintentionally became funny. And therefore, the movie could have been camp all on its own without the consciousness. Third, let's look at the last movie made with camp in mind--Eight Legged Freaks. It promised all of that drive-in fun, and it's total haul was $17 million. Of course, Freaks wasn't called Spiders Take Arizona and didn't have a following before it came out. We'll see, but I'm not going to be wrong!

Edward Norton returns in the limited opening of The Illusionist. He plays a magician who wows Vienna and falls in love with Jessica Biel while Paul Giamatti plays an investigator out to expose Norton as a fraud. With that kind of storyline, you've got to know Rufus Sewell is brooding around as a royal pain in the ass--this time, he's Leopold. It's a love triangle, it's magic, it's intrigue, and one of those movies with some buzz around it. It's the first of two dark magic movies; the next is Christopher Nolan's The Prestige.

Hilary and Haylie Duff play Paris and Nicky Hilton, at least that's what the trailer looks like, in Material Girls. Two socialite sisters have their accounts frozen by their father, and they have to see what it's like in the real world. There's no reason to think that this won't suck.

Re-do: Last week I reported Accepted was coming out, only to find out a day later it had been moved to this week. So, I will reprint what I wrote last week: Honorary Frat Pack member Justin Long is in yet another comedy, Accepted. Here, he's a kid out of high school who has been denied at all the colleges in which he's applied, and thus he becomes the creator of a fake college that accepts anyone and has no real classes. Go ahead and brush off your jokes about particular schools of higher learning and their acceptance requirements. Here's one from Ned Flanders: Looks like Heaven is as easy to get into as Arizona State!