I'm Back

Finally, after what seemed like eons of not having a computer at my fingertips, I have finally been able to get one and be back on-line to chat about nonsense with you guys. We were told we were getting Meredith's Dad's old one as soon as he took some files off it and stuff, but after five months of waiting for that to happen, I just went ahead and purchased a hell of a nice baby with my lovely connections at Dell of course.
I've also been enjoying the hell out of a life for the past two months since I have become one of the unemployed. I got out of my job that was pissing me off all to hell and am now taking a break. I will be starting up a landscaping job here pretty soon, but at least it won't be the stressfull bullshit I've been dealing with for the past three years.
I guess to start things off and to get back into the fold I will get into my year at the movies so far. So here is 2005 films at a glance:

For the most part, the films of 2005 have been sucking ass. I know, I know, it's late winter/spring when the studios dump a bunch of unreleasable shit or stuff that can probably make them a few bucks but can't compete in a summer of big explosions or a fall/winter of Oscar worthy contenders. But look at last year in the months of January through April. We had a couple of great films in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and "Kill Bill Volume II." There were also a lot of small gems worth at least a few more looks such as "Miracle," "Club Dread," "Mean Girls," "Dawn of the Dead," etc. (I know there were a few more, but unfortunately I can't remember them now.) Granted, there were a lot of bad films as well: "Butterfly Effect," "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton," "The Girl Next Door," and so on.) But even those films look like "Casablanca" compared to some of the crap I've seen this year.
The year started off with Jennifer Garner all spandexed out in "Elektra" which made you yearn for the fun awfullness of "Supergirl." After that it only got worse. Robert DeNiro decided to further ruin his former career highs with the thriller "Hide and Seek." Apparently now studios actually think if you've got a creepy kid it will make the movie gold. Also in January, I got to see the remake of "Assault on Precinct 13." Good or bad, remakes just tend to be pretty pointless, but this one was just bad. And Chris, along with "Sin City," Harry Knowles touted this one as some great masterpiece as well.
Feburary brought in an interesting trend; action stars living it up in a romantic comedy and a couple of kid comedies. Will Smith displayed some of his romantic charm in "Hitch." Another odd thing here was that Smith was actually the straight man, and Kevin James got to be the comic foil. Sadly, this is probably the best movie I've seen so far this year, and there is nothing good about that comment. Then Tommy Lee Jones decided to protect some cheerleaders in "Man of the House," and Vin Diesel decided to protect some kids in "The Pacifier." I really don't think I need to say anymore about those two. Keanu Reeves took on the devil "again" in "Constantine," which I actually enjoyed a little more than "The Matrix" movies, but like my comment about "Hitch" that isn't saying a damn thing. Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson teamed up again in "Cursed," which apparently was so bad they had to reshoot, rewrite, and recast almost the entire film. I can't imagine how bad the first version was, because if there is actually a movie worse than this released in 2005 then we might be headed for the apocalypse. I can see why Wes Craven said in an interview, "I can't believe I wasted 2 and a half years on this project."
March could only get better, right? Not really. It had the inevitable sequels, "The Ring 2," and "Miss Congeniality 2." The former is a well directeced piece by the originals creator, Hideo Nakata, but Ehren Krueger once again proved why he's the new Joe Esterhaz. This guy can't write anything that resembles a good movie (With the exception of "Arlington Road," I think he had a ghost writer on that one.). It should also be noted that "The Ring 2" once again tested Hollywood's theory of the "Creepy Kid Cred." To be honest, I have not nor will I see "Miss Congeniality 2," but I can't imagine it's going to save what has happened so far this year at the multiplex. "The Jacket" worked pretty well for me for about the first 2/3, but then completely screwed itself in the last third. At least in "Hostage" we got to see an action star (Bruce Willis) being an action star; unfortunately it was not in a good action movie. In my mention of sequels, I completely forgot to mention "Be Cool," which did have a few laugh out loud moments, but this thing did not resemble a movie at all. It was more like a buch of skits tied together with a really bad performance by John Travolta thrown in for good measure. As far as "Guess Who" goes, I felt like a racist even watching this crap. The black jokes at dinner scene is about as unsettled as I have ever been in a movie. And you thought "Bamboozled" was depressing; at least that wasn't supposed to be a comedy.
I'm sorry about the length of this, but I had to vent. I just hope April proves a little more interesting with "Sin City," "Sahara," and "The Interpreter" coming out. Hell, "XXX: State of the Union" looks pretty good compared to the crap I've already sat through. And in all fairness, I did not see "Are We There Yet," "Robots," "Coach Carter," and I'm sure there are a few others in there I missed. So, if "Are We There Yet" is an Oscar winner in the end, I apologize to Ice Cube and company.