Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Open The Wine We've Got Our Winners

We haven't had a sports post in awhile, so I thought I would throw one out there. The title of this blog is me throwing down some serious sarcasm on what has been a fun and interesting week of the NFL season. What's even more fun is the days following week one when everyone and their mother is already declaring winners and losers for the rest of the season. Listening to the radio I've heard plenty of the Raiders, Packers, and Titans suck. Oh and the Falcons, Eagles, and Bears are awesome. Or the Jaguars were a nice surprise; the Seahawks had a bad win, etc.

You know what? It's week one, people. All of the teams have played one game. Yes, I am so happy that the Arizona Cardinals came out of the gate 1-0, something they haven't done in quite a few years. In fact the last time they led the NFC West was when we had an uneven amount of teams and they had the bye in week one, and everyone else in their division lost that week. They actually got to hold this posistion for two weeks since this was 2001 and the unfortunate events of 9/11 put a stall on the season for a week. Still, I'm not just ready to crown these guys the Superbowl champs, or NFC champs, or whatever. It's one freaking game against what everyone is expecting to be a pretty weak team (49ers) who did put up 27 points on this supposed team to beat.

I just want to counteract against a few retarted comments I've heard from our brilliant analysts that this country has to offer. Dan Patrick and Mr. Salisbury were talking up the suprisingly good Jacksonville Jaguars who took out the hyped up Dallas Cowboys this past Sunday. Was I the only one that noticed the Jaguars go 12-4 last year? In the NFC last year they would have been the number 2 team; in the AFC they became a wildcard team. They also got to play the Cowboys at home, and the only thing different about the Cowboys this year is that they lost Keyshawn Johnson and picked up Terrell Owens. I'm not saying the Cowboys suck or that Jacksonville is incredible. What I am saying is that Dallas is a good team that had to play another good team on their home turf and they lost a close one. That's football. It happens.

The Raiders and Packers suck ass and should be regulated to the CFL or some such nonsense is the essence of what I've been hearing. And yes, these two teams do suck, but did this really suprise anybody? The Raiders brought Jeff George into camp this preseason to try him out at Quaterback. A man who had not played football in five years was brought in to try out; are we surprised they lost to the San Diego Chargers? The Packers have a very young football team much like the Titans, and are in, I hate to say it, a rebuilding year. Which makes letting Favre hang around all the more confusing, but still, are we surprised? Is this really newsworthy that two teams everyone knew would suck showed in week one that they suck? Wow! I am amazed at the insight. The only thing these two teams getting the spotlight of the worst of the week helped was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who were also shut out.

The Redskins are overrated. I don't remember anyone saying the Redskins were going to be the Super Bowl champs, so how are they overrated? They lost 19-16, and had a chance to tie with a field goal. The Panthers need Steve Smith to come back. No shit, sherlock. The Patriots escaped with a win. Don't they always? The Colts didn't look as good as expected. Really, didn't they win? Chad Pennington is back to his old self. Why? Because he dominated a terrible defensive backfield. And futhermore, isn't his old self hurt and crying like a baby? Just asking.

The stats are always fun, and this was my favorite: Out of 40 superbowls only 7 teams have started off the season 0-1 and won it. However, in the past six seasons we've had three of those seven teams. So, you know what that means? Not a damn thing; that's right.

I just wish some of these guys would be honest and say, you know what, it's week one. We don't know shit yet. But I guess that wouldn't make as good a story as Randy Moss is over because he only caught four passes. They never seem to point out that he was only thrown the ball four times, but I guess that just wouldn't make as interesting a story. I know this isn't news to people, and it's fun to debate and make passing judgements, and if you end up being correct at the end of the year you're a genius or some such nonsense. Well, I disagree. You're not a genius, you're what most down to earth people call a lucky bastard. And in the end, I guess that's not so bad, but let's call a spade a spade.

You want my "Lucky Bastard" picks, here we go:

1) The Packers will have more wins than the Raiders; probably 5-4.
2) The Jets are going to be a lot better than everyone expected; they'll finish 6-10.
3) The Jaguars are going to be as good as everyone else thinks they will be surprising.
4) The Titans will suck.
5) The Redskins will lose another close game.
6) The Browns will have very little offense.
7) Dan Snyder will still be rich at the end of the season.
8) The Panthers will win some games. Shocking, I know.
9) The Steelers will lose some games. Even more shocking; god, my crystal ball rocks.
10) I will win the lottery.

There you go; spoken by the football gods and put out there for you to digest and do what you will with them. Oh, and one more prediction; broadcasters and analysts will be as arrogant, contradictive, and full of shit as ever for the entire season. You gotta love sports.


At 9/14/2006 05:04:00 AM, Blogger Chris said...

I've always hated football analysts as you know, and I was glad that for most part on Sunday, the sound was turned down. I could go on and on about how someone's strong opinion seems to equal insight in this business, even if the strong opinion is ludicrous.


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