Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Holy crap, I agree with Jonny: The Break-Up

Directed by Peyton Reed
Universal Pictures

Jonathan touched on the many things about The Break-Up that suck, and I'll add to that because I generally believe in piling on as much as possible.

This movie made around $38 million over the weekend, no doubt by many moviegoers expecting another scene-chewing romp from Vince Vaughn, who has declared this the funniest thing he's ever done. Sorry, Vinny, this might only be funnier than Domestic Disturbance, but I haven't seen it so I couldn't possibly give that statement creedance.

Do you enjoy big shouting matches? There are like two or three in this movie, that just absolutely stall the film into that nether-region of time where you swear you've been sitting in the theatre for 3 hours and not 2. There are about sixty-thousand characters in this movie--they could have all been reduced to about 3, been given the same lines, and the movie would have been fine. Keep Swingers buddy Jon Favreau. Lose John Michael Higgins (everything Jonathan said here is perfect--what the hell is this guy doing here? The big scene where he gets the family to sing Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart" is an idea that gambled and missed big time). Keep Jason Bateman, of course, and give him more to do! Lose Joey Lauren Adams. And so on and so on.

Also, Jennifer Aniston is still a hot babe with indiscernible talent, and since this is what is displayed most of the time in her pictures, I think she's the equivalent of what major league baseball analysts call "Quadruple-A" players--too good for the minors, not good enough for the majors.

And those classic woman-man miscommunications. Dreadful. Not once did I believe two people could actually be this damn stupid during conversation. Sure, most arguments are stupid. But these make you want to go sneak into Poseidon or something. I hate watching movies I could have made better.


At 6/06/2006 09:08:00 PM, Blogger Jonathan said...

I also forgot to mention Peter Billingsley being in this film; yes, that Peter "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out" Billingsley from A Christmas Story. Apparently he and Vince have been best friends for a long time; too bad he wasn't a good enough friend to tell Vince this movie was a bad idea.

I also love how some reviews I've read (Mostly on Aintitcoolnews, go figure) are touting this as brilliant because it has an indie vibe. Massayrm went so far as to say this was Bergman esque. I'm sorry, Ingmar Bergman? What the fuck is that guy smoking?


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