Attention Stupid People: An Open Letter To NFL Fans
You are the problem here, whether you realize it or not.
None of you want a lockout or a players strike, yet that appears to be where we're headed. Why? Because of you idiots.
The owners want more money. The players want more money. And you know why this is your fault? Because they're arguing over your money! Every dime that trickles down to NFL owners and players originates in your pocket.
By all rights, we should be a fully recognized third-party at the bargaining table, because without us there's nothing to fight over.
Alas, the owners and players know what I know: that fans are too damn stupid, selfish, and lazy to ever take ownership of their part of the game.
Far be it from me to make Men In Black sound like a source of wisdom, but remember what Tommy Lee Jones says to Will Smith, when asked about why they don't just tell the public that aliens exist:
"A person is smart... people are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."
On our own, we have strong opinions and can actually make a good deal of sense. But as a group... forget about it.
The NFL knows that no matter how pissed off individual fans get, they'll never be motivated enough to actually band together over any kind of boycott or solidarity. They know that no matter how long you have to wait for football, your appetite will not be diminished. They know that, even if it takes a little time, you'll come crawling back to the game you love... buying PSL's and jerseys and $8 hot dogs just the same as you used to.
You make me sick. If there is a lockout, I won't be calling out Goodell or Mawae or anyone else from the two sides. I'll be calling out the same group that's to blame for electing crappy presidents and making Real Housewives a hit show: you assholes.