Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Attention Stupid People: An Open Letter To NFL Fans

You are the problem here, whether you realize it or not.

None of you want a lockout or a players strike, yet that appears to be where we're headed. Why? Because of you idiots.

The owners want more money. The players want more money. And you know why this is your fault? Because they're arguing over your money! Every dime that trickles down to NFL owners and players originates in your pocket.

By all rights, we should be a fully recognized third-party at the bargaining table, because without us there's nothing to fight over.

Alas, the owners and players know what I know: that fans are too damn stupid, selfish, and lazy to ever take ownership of their part of the game.

Far be it from me to make Men In Black sound like a source of wisdom, but remember what Tommy Lee Jones says to Will Smith, when asked about why they don't just tell the public that aliens exist:

"A person is smart... people are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

On our own, we have strong opinions and can actually make a good deal of sense. But as a group... forget about it.

The NFL knows that no matter how pissed off individual fans get, they'll never be motivated enough to actually band together over any kind of boycott or solidarity. They know that no matter how long you have to wait for football, your appetite will not be diminished. They know that, even if it takes a little time, you'll come crawling back to the game you love... buying PSL's and jerseys and $8 hot dogs just the same as you used to.

You make me sick. If there is a lockout, I won't be calling out Goodell or Mawae or anyone else from the two sides. I'll be calling out the same group that's to blame for electing crappy presidents and making Real Housewives a hit show: you assholes.


At 2/17/2011 12:34:00 PM, Blogger Mike said...

We should form our own group and claim that $1 billion that they are fighting over.

Not the fans, though, just you and me.

I seriously wonder how much more sports I would be watching. I'm doing to just two that I watch seriously, the NFL and soccer, and I'm watching less soccer. I don't respond well to strikes. This could be the first step to big money sports downfall, at least in this country.

At 2/21/2011 02:35:00 PM, Blogger Jonathan said...

You couldn't be more right, KW. Great post, and I love the "Men in Black" quote (which might very well be the last great summer blockbuster of its kind).

I just can't believe that to keep your PSL the NFL is still making you buy the season tickets whether or not there is a season to be played or you will forfeit said PSL. You will get reimbursed the following season or for the few games that don't get played if they do a shortened season (much like the playoff structure), but you still have to fork over the 800 dollars or more and wait to see what happens. It's asinine.

But everyone will still do it because they don't want to lose their PSL investment. No matter what happens, the owners are still making plenty of money, and the players will as well eventually.

My interest has been fading fairly quickly with the NFL over the past few seasons; the possible lock out only adds to that irritation. Be it new rules and regulations, more and more prima donnas in the league, or people refusing to play, etc. It's become a rather annoying sport and it's become harder and harder to justify sitting down and giving three to twelve hours of my weekend to watching.

Even though many studies will tell you that baseball rebounded from the strike and the ensuing steroid issues, I know way too many former die hard baseball fans (like Mike) that have all but quit watching the sport. I don't think the NFL will be hit quite that hard, but it should be. I won't be watching as much for whatever that fucking matters. Great post.


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