Ahhh...lockouts.

There are several interesting things being bandied about in this hockey lockout, which may be one of the most ludicrous work stoppages in history. I'm going to say that I am an MLB fan first, an NFL fan second, and right underneath that, an NHL fan. I hardly care for any of the college or minor league versions of these sports (I like NCAA basketball but not the pros), so the athletes who play "for the love of the game" only go so far with me. I can handle the primadonnas and the crybabies and the greedy bastards who play pro sports because I know that I'm going to get the best athletic performances and the best matchups. Give me the Arizona Cardinals vs. the Indianapolis Colts over the Florida State Seminoles vs. the Central Northwest New Hampshire State Technological A & M Brigadoon Players any day.

Clearly, in the NHL's case, the owners should have taken the 5 percent pay cut for the players. I'm not taking any particular side in the debate that has raged in the past 24 hours on 2 different blog sites. What I feel is that this could have been readily accepted for at least a year in a new, yet temporary, CBA. The owners would have gotten a little relief, hockey would have played another year, and for a year they could work something else out. They, yes, should have been able to do this in the past year. Quite clearly, the NHL has been losing money and there are empty arenas all over. ABC shares the Stanley Cup playoffs with their sister company ESPN, including the Finals. Don't you think if people gave a damn about the Stanley Cup, the higher-profile network, this being ABC, would be taking on all of the Finals?

We live in America, guys. We loves us the football fierce. We like violence and gambling. Unfortunately, the NHL, while packed with violence, is played on ice with skates, and we in America (I speak of "we" as the general audience) believe men on skates are sissy limp-wristed girls, no matter how much they hit each other. And there's so many rules and parameters in hockey that squelch offense. Hockey also doesn't lend itself to television very well. Hockey on television is almost unwatchable.

It's also not a sport that is embraced by high schoolers around the entire country. Athletic boys do not seek hockey (or baseball, or basketball) as a means to prove their manhood, which is football's main draw. In school, who are the gods? The men who risk injury on every play, and whose goal is to score 6 points, not just 1, and to be rewarded for a good offensive burst by being able to go for 3, not being stifled by the enemy's stingy goal size or its armored protector's massive body frame with matching pads. Where offsides is only if you jump on the other side too early, not because of some stupid rule that says you can't enter the offensive zone without the puck being present first. And what the hell is up with icing anyway? What's so bad about that? The rules in hockey are infuriating to an average person.

What's my point? That hockey, the people who take part in it for a living, should be thankful for everything they get. Every last crumb. To sell hockey here at all is a miracle. This is why the owners should have taken the first deal, even if it meant another year where they lost some money. A real deal could be struck with more time. But hockey is over. Hockey is just a dream now. It'll be six teams or so if it ever gets back. Detroit won't have the monopoly on all the good players anymore. We as hockey fans can relish six teams with four lines of pure brilliance, while we remember that we once had a team, that it lasted for 6 seasons, and our team would have been good if the NHL had ever allowed it to stay around.