Harry Knowles is an Idiot

I don't know why I indulge myself anymore with "Aintitcoolnews." I really don't. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Maybe I love to read what a bunch of idiots think of films and television. Actually, Hercules and I agree for the most part on T.V. Although he likes reality television quite a bit, and apparently I'm the only person that thinks "Da Ali G Show" is total crap. But I go on there every day to have movies I'm looking forward to spoiled by these so called spies, and I guess I never get sick of hearing about the "Spiderman 3" villain debate.

But whatever you want to say about Moriarty, Quint, Massayrm, and the like, Harry Knowles is the big fat red piece of shit that I keep giving into smelling everyday. And boy does he always make me want to punch him in his arrogant, stupid smiling face. I know I'm being mean; I'd call him a fat idiot even if he wasn't overweight, trust me. And who are we to talk I guess. I mean we're just giving opinions ourselves, but ours actually seem biased. Ours actually seem grounded in some sort of reality; not some sort of fanboy jerk-off, circle jerk fest. And we're also not trying to come off as these cool know-it-alls because we'll watch foreign films and indies.

My personal thing has always been you like what you like. I have my personal tastes, KW has his, Chris and Mike have theirs, and so on. We might not always agree, but we sure as hell don't act like one has the upper hand on popular culture knowledge. There is a girl I work with who loved the hell out of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo." She's the type of girl that likes to sit back, have a beer, and watch "Tommy Boy" and "Dickie Roberts - Child Star" double features. Not my thing, but she loves it. And I say that's great. If you have a love of film, no matter what those films may be, you have a love of film. I'm sick of the pretentious bullshit that exists on sites like "Aint-it-cool-news." I liked "Mindhunters;" Chris didn't. But you didn't see Chris and I having some kind of ego-trip induced war about why the other one was right. While KW and I didn't enjoy "Phantom Menace" and Chris loved it, we still gave each other props and debated our points in a friendly fashion. And what the hell is wrong with that? Now I'm going to be a hypocrite and trash the god, Harry Knowles opinion. But what the hell? He would trash mine.

On his site today I was reading his masturbating write-ups on being able to be at Quentin Tarantino's film festival. Tarantino is apparently having themed movie nights, and good for him. I would love to be there. One of those nights was 80's Horror Movies. Sounds like a lot of fun. One of the movies he screened was "Psycho II," and here is where Knowles lost me.

Now, let me preface this by saying, "Psycho II" is not that bad of a movie. As far as sequels go, especially to something as renowned as "Psycho" it's pretty damn good. However, Knowles starts to explain why "Psycho II" is better than the original. Are you kidding me? I'm not an expert here, and "Psycho" is by no means a perfect film; it's nowhere near Hitchcock's best. That terrible exposistion by the psychiatrist at the end of the film is probably the worst scene in a great film ever. But to even put Richard Franklin on the same pedastal as Hitchcock is the most asinine shit I have ever heard.

My problem here isn't so much that Knowles is saying the film is better than the original. It's the way he goes about saying it. It's as if he's right and your wrong. It's has if this is some big revelation that only he knows about, and none of us dumb ass supposed film buffs do. He writes up "Psycho II" like it's the best kept secret in the history of Hollywood. Move over "Gone With the Wind," get out of the way "Casablanca," what's that "Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," that's right, "Psycho II" is like the nectar of the gods. "Psycho II" is the shiznit and Harry Knowles, your master is the only one who figured it out. It apparently is a film filled with deep meanings and elegant writing. If this was made in the forties, Bogart would have beaten everyone down to be in it. Give me a god damn break. "Psycho II" is a fucking slasher film that was trying to cash in on the slasher craze in the early eighties and the popularity of the original.

Call me a whiny bitch, but this is the most ridiculous write-up I have ever seen. And then if you go on to read anoter write-up on Tarantino's "Australian Film" night, Knowles bitches about how stupid Tarantino is for not liking "The Goonies." Who gives a shit you dumbass; you just touted "Psycho II" as being the end all of film. Of course every movie that he likes is the end all of film. Read his reviews of decent, o.k. action pictures like "Sahara" and it reads like he has just seen Jesus fucking aliens at the Fountain of Youth.

Well written criticism is a beautiful thing. Have your opinion, I don't give a shit. But don't write down to people. Don't make it seem like you know everything about the craft and they don't. It's a fucking movie in the end; that's all it is. Having someone like Harry Knowles out there makes you wish you hated film; makes you wish film didn't exist for the sole purpose of never having to read his bullshit again.

I know I'm being a whiny bitch. But I can't wait to see Knowle's first film, "Ghost House," if the damn thing ever gets released. If it's actually good, I'll eat my words. But I can't wait till that day, because I think then this guy will finally have to eat his own horseshit. That site is a damn train wreck; no matter how bad it gets you just can't look away.