A Projectionist Takes Umbrage With Customers: A Review of Separate Lies

Separate Lies (Director: Julian Fellowes)



















This is Fellowes's directorial debut. He won the Best Screenplay Oscar for his Gosford Park script. This is based on the Nigel Balchin novel.

This movie is about to leave Nashville; I caught it on its last day, so this review will only help if you happen to be in a video store a couple of months from now or if you happen to be in a town still showing it. I saw some good things about this, and I decided to watch it before it left. I'll quickly get the story out of the way, tell if you if I liked it, and then proceed to an issue that plagues movie theatres.

James Manning (Tom Wilkinson) and his wife Anne (Emily Watson) seem happily married until the divorced William Bule (Rupert Everett) enters their lives. Bule and Anne start having an affair, and they seem to be responsible for running the Mannings' cleaning lady's husband over with Bule's car. Decisions, decisions. Do the right thing and tell the police, thereby affecting many people's lives, or keep it secret, where no one else gets dragged into the whole thing, but possibly worsening the trouble should it get found out?

I liked the movie but I thought it might be a little more twisty. During the last fifteen minutes I thought for sure there was going to be some other revelation, not that the revelations made are unsatisfactory, but one that would send me out of the movie spinning all of the events in my head.

Anyway, there's a certain coziness when you go to the movies, an anticipation.








You know what I mean? You figure that you're going to sit down, with your popcorn and coke, or maybe you ate before and are content, and you're about to watch a movie that might be really good. I was the only one in this auditorium until showtime, when suddenly, three older ladies sat down right in front of me. Now, I don't understand what it is, but I thought when there was a ton of space, people generally want to have as much room as possible. To these ladies, that's not the case. It's the best seats they feel they can find in a 100-seat auditorium. Not a big problem, but certainly a first-strike annoyance.

They start talking--maybe soft to them but it's like hearing a bee buzzing around the room. I figure, it's a previews thing. They'll quit when the movie starts.

No, they won't quit. I don't see how they can follow the movie with this gabbing.








I believe that I'll wait for a few moments, but I am missing some points in the movie here, and then one more annoyance:








Yeah, these old ladies have cell phones, and they're talking on them! This is me:











Finally, they start talking over some important dialogue, and what really annoyed me was the stupid commentary. Tom Wilkinson tells Emily Watson on the phone he has to stay at work, and the lady in the middle says, "Tch tch tch, work, work, work!" Anger swelled within me:









I was very nice. I leaned over, probably scared the Depends off this woman. Said, "Could I get you guys to be quiet. I mean...please."

Oh yes, that shut them up. Oh yes.










Do I feel good about it? I really wish it wasn't necessary. I was completely awaiting the retort, and then I could smack them down with some verbal taunts, because they deserved it. Anyway, that's my quick story.