Monday, April 02, 2007

Time to Hate Florida

Yeah, the whole state. I know Ohio does, after Ohio State lost to the Florida Gators twice in two different sports championships in three months. The Florida Gators have won two NCAA basketball tourneys and the BCS since 2006 and will own those two titles for at least another eight months.

But this decade has belonged to the state of Florida. In 2000, Florida State won the BCS. In 2002, it was the Miami Hurricanes. And both of those schools had chances to repeat as champions in the following years and were mercifully beaten, or else it would be our duty to destroy Florida. Of course, it might already be time for that.

But that's not all. In 2003, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl, and the Florida Marlins won the World Series. The following year, the Tampa Bay Lightning won the Stanley Cup. Currently, the Miami Heat are the NBA champs, meaning the state of Florida owns men's basketball.

So, let's check. That's 9 championships since 2000. Not even people around Boston can claim that kind of supremacy, and they've won 4 with the Patriots and Red Sox. If you're in the state of Florida, there's a good chance a team you follow has won something in the past 7 years. Yeah, I'm just jealous. No state should have this kind of success. You should feel some pain for awhile before being allowed to enjoy this many championships.


At 4/03/2007 08:24:00 AM, Blogger Kennelworthy said...

Like it's not bad enough they have the beaches and the sand and the hot girls and the sunshine. Now they have sports supremacy too?! Not fair.

There are, however, probably several states/cities with similar domination levels, only for suckage instead of championships. When was the last time the city of Seattle celebrated together over a sports achievement? Or Atlanta?

At 4/03/2007 07:32:00 PM, Anonymous John B said...

After living in FL for several years, I can say don't build the state up too much. Yes they have nice beaches, no state income tax, and have been very good in sports for a long time. HOWEVER.....

They also have their roads jammed every winter by blue-haired snowbirds who drive slow and crowd the parking lot of fine eateries for the 4pm early bird special.

Summer is reserved for many, many drunk college kids from all over enjoying the "Redneck Riviera".

The other tourists that enjoy the FL summer come from over seas, wearing very small speedos, hidden by their huge guts that are lobster red like the rest of their body. Many of them don't know what deodorant is, spend the day sweatin' at Disney, and then want to sit next to your table for dinner. YUMMY!!!

Not to mention all the illegals. Last time I was there, I rented a car. I was told to get the insurance in case some illegal hit me and took off. Sad, but true. Could you imagine what Gloria Estefan would say about Hertz's selling point?? It would be Elian Gonzolez all over again!!!!

Sooooo while FL, or FLA for formerly Lower Alabama, has some special allure, think about all the suffering and invasion they must go through in order to have the success they do.


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