Hero, Wimbledon, Mr.3000

Well, I really caught up with some movies today. I haven't gone on a binge like this in a long time. These are all retro reviews. Hero opened August 27 here, and the other two opened just last weekend, so I'm not terribly off.

1. Hero (Director: Zhang Yimou)

A nice little martial arts movie, with all the wire-fu and grace of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Just like that martial "arty" film, there's much more on the minds of the filmmakers than just pretty fights in stellar backgrounds. We have a movie about honor and love, how those facets of life weigh in on important decisions, surrounded by a tale told by Nameless (Jet Li, who's finally in a movie that shows dignity, although this movie was filmed and shown to Chinese audiences before the living turd Cradle 2 The Grave), who relates a story of the killing of three assassins to the king in the Qin dynasty (Daoming Chen). The king has been heavily guarded under an assassination watch, and Nameless is only allowed to advance towards the king, first 100 paces, then as reward gets as close as 10 paces, with only a bevy of flickering candles between them. The king doesn't believe the entire story, and relates what he believes, and then, with the truth coming ever closer, Nameless fills in the gaps.

It's that interesting dynamic that makes Hero a worthwhile film, even though there's a lot of pretentiousness in this thing, a lot of slow motion and a fight in autumn leaves that looks a lot like the fabulous tree fight in Crouching Tiger, made all the more similar by the presence of ultra-babe Zhang Ziyi. There's a lot of stock period-piece behavior, like knowing one's place and having an honor code. The fights are kinda fun, but it's getting sad when I can look at fighters jump on water and think, "I've seen that before." It's the weight of the story that pulls it all together, and you'll be able to get past some tiresome aspects. Solid.

Another plus: Hard-Boiled's Tony Leung, who played the undercover cop, plays an assassin with the moral center of the story.

2. Wimbledon (Director: Richard Loncraine)

Loncraine is not a well-known name. He only has two credits that people may take interest in. There's Richard III and part 2 of the "Band of Brothers" miniseries. This film comes with the packaging of advertising the producers, who did Notting Hill and Bridget Jones's Diary.

Paul Bettany steps into a role that probably would have been Hugh Grant if it didn't require Grant to look athletic (and he may be too old). Bettany is best known for John Nash's imaginary friend Charles Herman in A Beautiful Mind and Dr. Stephen Maturin in Master and Commander. He was also in a movie I still consider one of the best of the year, Dogville. Bettany has better acting chops than Grant, but Grant is a better comedian. The film also stars Kirsten Dunst as a hotshot female tennis star who of course becomes romantic fodder for Bettany, or the other way around, and they are a winning couple, but there's a lot missing from this movie.

First off, the secondary characters add almost nothing even though they are good in their roles. Jon Favreau plays a sports agent, and all that implies. Sam Neill plays the father of said female star, and of course emerges as a conflict, but not much of one. Another thing that's missing, until the Wimbledon final, is the true sense of sport. Sports movies are best when they have compelling sports situations, and we miss a lot of Peter Cort's (Bettany) march through Wimbledon even though this is supposed to be an amazing feat for an aging star. Hell, the movie's called Wimbledon, not Love At First Deuce or Advantage, Love or some other crappy romantic title that implies sports. There are decent, Notting Hill-esque stabs at humor, but it ultimately fails.

3. Mr. 3000 (Director: Charles Stone III)

Stone is known best for his Whasssssuuuup Budweiser commercials and he's been getting steady film work ever since. He directed the surprisingly good Drumline and he did another movie that got good reviews but wasn't seen by anyone (including me) in Paid in Full.

Here's the first movie Bernie Mac has ever had to carry, and unfortunately it's PG-13. It's censored Mac, and it contains really none of the good humor of his TV show. Bernie Mac gets more laughs from one scene in Booty Call than in this whole movie. It's a shame, because Mac has shown a knack for hard-edged humor and he's regulated to playing this aging, selfish baseball star. If you were to switch his love for the camera for a drug addiction, then this would be a drama. That's what I felt like seeing this.

Bernie Mac plays Stan Ross, a baseball player who, once he gets 3000 hits, retires, figuring the Hall of Fame will come calling. However, nine years later, he has yet to make it. Then, the Hall of Fame discovers that three hits in one game that was ended due to a curfew rule were counted twice. So, with 2997 hits, Ross tries to get back into the majors at 47. While there he begins to teach the younger players lessons, while he himself learns his own.

There are a couple of unrealistic things about this.

First off, the comeback takes place in September and the Brewers play the Tigers. Maybe earlier in the year they play them, maybe in 1997 they play the Tigers that late in the season, being in the AL, but not in 2004.

Stat-hungry baseball would never miss something as glaring as three hits extra on someone's batting record.

Ross is able to convert a hotshot player and team cancer into a clubhouse leader after one BS conversation.

We're supposed to believe this sorry-ass team can make up 7 games in the standings, just to get to 3rd place, by winning 11. Maybe so, but couldn't we have had more room for that?

A plus: Angela Bassett, whom film has missed for several years, is beautiful as ever and turns in a nice performance as an ESPN reporter who is also the love interest. Just like Wimbledon, however, where's the true sense of sport? It's lost among all the other diversions. Maybe there's a point there, but it rings false.