My Early Season Braves Rant

You can tell it's baseball season because I'm starting to break things with batteries in them. In years past, it was remote controls which felt some pain. Tonight, I gave my noise-reduction headphones a scare (a necessity at this place in which I live--the guy up above me? You'd think the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk lives up there--STOMP STOMP crunch STOMP SQUEAL, RUMBLE, SQUEAL, STOMP crunch crunch STOMP and it's constant--not to mention the Latin samplings from people's cars and the honking horns outside, and previously, before he was evicted--the man who played one song on repeat all night and morning as loud as possible)

My stress level with the Braves certainly has become elevated with the accompanying noise. I have fantasized about kicking this guy's door down and breaking his legs so that he could get around in a wheelchair. Or hey, I've fantasized about kicking this guy's door down and just giving him a wheelchair, and then leaving. What's Spanish for wheelchair?

Yes, I may very well have, in the cyberspace dumpster and here on this very blog, many early season rants about the Atlanta Braves. It's never any different, but it sure doesn't sting any less.

The Braves have now lost 1-0 leads late three times in 12 games. This puts in perspective the terrible hitting and the pitching lapses late in the game. The relief is horrible. How Dan Kolb saved 45 games last year for the Brewers has not yet surfaced. The middle relief is just as terrible. Tonight, in the 10th inning, when the Braves finally scored on a Mondesi sac fly, I was not excited--Kolb came in to bat and it meant that he would pitch another inning after a shaky previous inning. I was also not excited because a 1-0 lead is kryptonite.

The starting pitching is the only thing going for this team right now. However, I wonder what the ripple effect might be of these guys going out and pitching lights out for 8 innings only to see another loss? That just deflates confidence. Mike Hampton is having an honest-to-God great start to the season and he can't buy a break. Smoltz and Hudson have lost close games. Right now, at 6-6, I've seen evidence they should be about 10-2 right now.

I know all of the consolations, and I know that rooting for this team hasn't exactly been like rooting for the Royals, so no need to bring those things to my attention. It's just time to vent, because if I don't, I'll hurt this guy above me. I think he may have batteries in him.