Cheaper By the Dozen 2...and more!

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (Director: Adam Shankman)










This is Shankman's 2nd movie of the year, helping him join the club Robert Rodriguez, Tim Burton, Wes Craven, and Louis Letterier joined earlier. Yep, there's less than two weeks left in the year and he won't be the last. I discussed all of Shankman's crap in my review of March's The Pacifier, a crappy movie that made so much money that it proves that there's not a slump all by itself. This is the sequel to the surprise 2003 hit remake.

Remember The Great Outdoors? It had SCTV vet John Candy team up with SNL vet Dan Aykroyd, and well, I have fond memories of that movie even though I know if I saw it now I would probably wonder why I found it funny. Well, Cheaper by the Dozen 2 is kind of like that--you have Steve Martin, who was never an SNL cast member but probably was best known for his appearances back in the day, playing the John Candy role, and then SCTV performer Eugene Levy plays the Aykroyd character.

Yep, there's a rivalry between Tom Baker (Martin) and Jimmy Murtaugh (Levy), and they are always trying to one-up each other. Both of them have tons of kids (Baker's Dozen (ha ha) to Murtaugh's 8), but Murtaugh seems to have all the cash and accolades, and even a hot new wife played by Carmen Electra. When the Bakers go on a camping vacation, that rivalry is renewed, and hopefully these guys can learn something and everyone can feel good about themselves.

Between this, Yours, Mine, & Ours, The Pacifier, and the upcoming Nanny McPhee, half the world's population is in these movies. The reason why that's unfortunate is that there's a lot of kids basically just taking up space in the frame, and only a handful show any character. But really, is there a reason to watch this, anyway? You can watch the 1,782nd water skiing mishap (also in The Great Outdoors), and the 10,673rd dinner table follies involving a dog crashing through everything in order to get to some meat (also in the last Cheaper by the Dozen) and to someone's balls. Believe me, balls take some battering in this movie, oh yes.

So it's unfortunate that we can't see Martin or Levy at their comic best, or more of Bonnie Hunt, who steals whatever there is to take in this movie. It's also unfortunate that Hilary Duff, who is one of those role models for young girls in today's day and age, be touted in this movie as the expert in how to look good when her face is completely gaunt and in need of a pizza. When she was in her jailbait years, I thought she was going to be completely smokin' hot--but she looks like a vampire and any parent should steer their young daughter away from making her out to be the gold standard. Take a look at Jaime King (playing one of the Murtaughs), or hell, Bonnie Hunt, and you have a better idea of what to hope for.

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Mormonz 'N the Hood








It's called States of Grace: God's Army 2 and this is the tale of Mormons trying to do good in L.A. By religious entertainment standards it probably deserves better from me, since it actually has good production values and good performances, and isn't all clunky and crappy. But no one outside of some church groups will ever see this. And well, I saw this, because it's my damn job.

I'm not going to go much further on this, but if you're Mormon (or any religious affiliation) then this has a lot of good messages. But, being Mormon has its problems for many Christians. Like, for instance, I imagine that the baptismals that occur in here will be the equivalent of seeing a long-time virgin get laid--within the Christian community, uplifting for the wrong reasons. But the movie should be praised if only for its unflinching portrayal of its characters, who deal with a lot of challenges and even succumb at times. Oh, and Rachel Emmers is a Justine Bateman-esque cutie. She was fun to look at, and as it turns out, is another one of those challenges for celibate men. Anyway, there's my coupla cents.