Tuesday, January 20, 2004

OK, reading over a week's worth of messages here that I missed, there's a few things to which I'll respond.

"That guy" in the NFL commercials is Don Cheadle, who's a great actor, but I've also found those commercials to be quite lacking. They expect you to buy a lot with Cheadle's conviction, but to me they've always been kind of stupid. Like, "They turned the number 7 into...7." Wow, how incredibly deep. And predicting the various things that would happen without The Immaculate Reception and The Catch and so on is also far-fetched. The one that's the most far-fetched is the one about Namath's guarantee and how the Jets wouldn't have won without that "extra fire in their belly," and the AFL wouldn't have merged with the NFL and so on and so forth. Ugh.

Also, when considering my overrated pick, BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM was a close number 2. It was number 1 until THIRTEEN and the many raves came out. BEND IT was just like the previous year's number 1, MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING.

I've given some top ten lists and observations, and have skipped on the movies I've seen in the past few weeks.

TORQUE: I saw Jim Ridley give this the same sort of treatment that I gave CA2: FT, and he even mentions that movie in his review. He enjoyed it because of the obvious glee in filmmaking he could see on the screen. However, I found TORQUE to be incredibly annoying. These aren't secret agents. These are motorcycle punks. And the stunts in here are not credible, or exactly funny, like CA2. Ramping onto a moving train, having a chase scene on top of the train, the hero jumps into one of the passenger cars and drives through it, a 200 MPH chase scene in the middle of rush hour traffic in a downtown area...that might have been forgiven if there was any sense that they were going all the way with it...I mean, you've hit over-the-top, why not go further? Instead, I felt more sincerity in these stunts...and the obsession with reflections in this movie...oh my. Once all the movie has to offer can be ignored, there's the dumb dialogue and story, and that is a broken crutch. Oh, Jonathan, you can look for Dane Cook in this movie if you ever watch it.

BIG FISH: One of the most extraordinary directing talents in our era is Tim Burton, but he has squandered that talent many, many times. I find many of his films lacking in some way. ED WOOD is absolutely perfect, but all of his other films have a little something to pick on (although BATMAN, for me, is the quintessential comic book movie in this day of X-MEN raves). SLEEPY HOLLOW started to drag from inflating a short story into full length, MARS ATTACKS! is a good cult film but ran out of ideas and had way too many characters/big-name actors who were stretched thin, and the remake of PLANET OF THE APES was horrible. Then you have EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and BATMAN RETURNS, where I thought the visuals outranked the story. BEETLEJUICE was pretty funny, but it wasn't exactly perfect. Anyway, after all that, BIG FISH is a movie that's good...but it could have been so much more...so, so much more. It's essentially about a boy and his father, the boy has been told many tall tales by his father, and now as a man the boy wants to know the truth behind the stories. I'm a fan of fantasy, and I was a little let down by the explanations, the attempt to get to the whole truth bogged it down. Nothing wrong with the performances, Albert Finney is great, but I'm once again left empty from one of Burton's films.

WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON!: Topher Grace, staple of THAT 70'S SHOW, is best friends with Kate Bosworth, one of the hottest females I have ever laid eyes on. In the traditional style of best friend movies, Grace is in love with his best friend, wants to make it into something more, hasn't been gutty enough to do anything about it. Bosworth and her friend idolize movie star Josh Duhamel, who plays Tad Hamilton, who in an effort to revitalize his career does this win-a-date thing. Bosworth starts falling for Duhamel and so on...Anyway, Topher Grace, who I really like, is very annoying at the beginning but then emerges as likeable...but guys, we all know how the best friends-turn-to-lovers story goes, and it's an OK movie. Good choices with the characters; Duhamel isn't some asshole hotshot like most movies would have made him into, and he plays a decent human being. Bosworth is radiant, but it's a strain in credibility that she would ever fall for her best friend...but what should you expect?

AGAINST THE ROPES: A movie that has been pushed back for a year or so. It's not that it's bad, but it's got a TV movie sensibility. Charles S. Dutton directs, and plays the most interesting character in the movie, only to be kind of shunted aside, because after all, this is Meg Ryan's movie to play sex-discriminated boxing promoter Jackie Kallen. The boxing scenes, well if you know it's got a TV movie mentality, aren't exactly RAGING BULL and they aren't ROCKY either.

Super Bowl--Carolina/New England. Well, I think Carolina is the only NFC team that can beat New England, if only because I think they might be able to get some pressure on Tom Brady. Guys, I don't like New England. Sure, say all you want about teams not winning pretty, but they win and that's the bottom line, but I think New England is incredibly beatable if you can just contain their minimal offense. I would contain the 5-yard passes, allow Brady to try to throw deep and see if your corners can contain that. If so, I don't see New England scoring much. Their dink-and-dunk offense exploited the Colts' holes in the middle of the secondary. I wouldn't allow them those easy yards. Make them run, and you've got them. However, Carolina doesn't have much of an offensive attack, either, so like most people around the world, I'm expecting a low-scoring game. And Belichick always seems to have a damn plan. I think New England will win it, clearly by default. It will be Vinatieri vs. Kasey. 12-9. New England, champs for a second time.

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