Saturday, February 02, 2008

SB XLII brought to you by stupidity!

I hate the Patriots. Not because of perfection or Brady’s “someone smack this stupid smirk off my face and maybe my wandering eye will realign” look or the whole spygate stuff. Nope, it’s because I’m still bitter about one bullshit play and the “smirk” that followed. I’m a Raiders fan and that damn “tuck rule” sent us down a dismal spiral. One that we can only escape if Mr. Burns dies or realizes he should keep his hands off the team.
With that said, a tiny little piece of me hopes they win. VERY TINY! Why? So Mercury Morris will shut the hell up!!! Sure the Patriots got away with facing the Jets, Bills, and Dolphins twice, but whom the hell did the 72 Dolphins play? Who were the other big teams that year? Besides, last time I checked 19 is more than 17. The Patriots will have done more than you. They will have survived scandal, Randy Moss, and drug testing. Not to accuse the 72 er’s of doping, but it was much easier back in the day. So, Merc, they are on your street, in your house, and about to send you “movin’ on down”. A recent ESPN the Mag article explains that these players can’t let go of their perfection because they can’t find a rush to match it. LET IT GO! You were great, you are Hall of Famers, and we remember you. Move on, Uncle Rico! Maybe you should work on being the undefeated shuffleboard champion. And, if the Pats do win and you just can’t cope that someone might be better than you, I’m sure you can find Dr. Kevorkian in the yellow pages. (too far?)

Next, let’s discuss commercials. Finally a chance to see more than one good or funny commercial in a 24-hour period! Everyday commercials SUCK! I’m looking at you McDonald’s! You haven’t had a good commercial since the original dream team.
Across the grill, the King does not have good commercials but the real sucking is made by the people in them not just the writers. Take the Whopper freakout. How F’n sad!! Many people get a chuckle, can take a joke, and show some tongue-in-cheek surprise. However, we have the uppity bitch demanding to see a manager at the window when she finds herself facing the biggest shock and possible disappointment of her entire life. And every ad ends with an angry, male voice demanding, “Give me a Whopper!” Seriously. Are people that freaked out over the possibility of losing a burger with veggies? Yep that’s it. A patty bigger than the regular burger with a pound of veggies is the best burger ever? It’s basically a salad on a bun. There’s no sauce, no special cheese (hell, there’s not any cheese!), and the bun is plain. What makes this burger so special over any other one on the menu that it comes to such anger and possible violence if it's not there? These people and their families should be embarrassed. Especially the family of the feminine, emo kid. How often do you get beat up? Did you cut yourself and write a touching poem after losing the Whopper? (too mean?)

All right, first post down! Could go on all day, but I’ll save a little. Enjoy the game, all!


Post a Comment

<< Home